“If there is integrity in your ‘Intention’ you will willingly modify your ‘Behaviour’ to be congruent with your ‘Intention’ and therefore have a better ‘Impact'”. Now that’s a mouthful…. But what does it mean?

Have you ever wanted to communicate something to someone, perhaps your partner, but when you do you get exactly the wrong impact you were hoping for? Guys, you know what I mean don’t you? Recently my partner just got her hair done and I hadn’t noticed it immediately,(upon sight as she would have expected as i need a road sign stapled to her kristy’s forehead to notice) but when I did something came out like “Oh you have had your hair done, it’s blonde”. Now did i have the right ‘Intention’? Yes (well I noticed didn’t I). Have I performed the right ‘Behaviour’? That’s questionable. But has it had the impact I desired? Well if you call the silent treatment for the next 3 hours over dinner the right ‘Impact’ then yes.

So what am I getting at? Well at a recent conference this same analogy was given from a top Australian communication expert, Bruce Sullivan. What Bruce said was that often we have the right ‘Intention’ but our ‘Behaviour’ is not always aligned with this and therefore we do not get the desired ‘Impact’.

Intention + Behaviour = Impact.

What we need to think about is what is the impact you want to create and then align our behaviour to create this.

In the case I mentioned above, with my partner, the impact I was hoping for was to have my partner feel complimented and flattered i noticed. This was not the case as i let my ‘male’ simplicity get in the way by stating what i saw without every giving thought to the impact. What i was thinking was ‘wow she’s gone blonde, I know that’s for me, lucky me’! What came out was the ridiculous statement of “you have gone blonde”, while I was thinking whether it was the right thing to do or not and never giving a thought to how that would make kristy feel. What I should probably have said was “Honey you look fantastic, have you done something different? Wait I know what it is… It’s your hair isn’t it? You know how I love it when you go blonder. Big Kiss and hug” Now ladies please don’t all go and get your hair done and test your partners out as you too must think about your Intention, Behaviour and Impact.

So whether it is at work or at home or in the gym we can take this simple tool away with us and apply it when you are trying to have an impact on someone or your self. In the gym your intention might be to lose 5 kilo’s but your behaviour is that of everything is to hard, well it is not going to be rocket science when the weight doesn’t go is it?

Intention- Behaviour- Impact. Think about it today!